Why Does it Bother You?

Why is it some things bother you more than others? It isn’t always a logical/analytical answer that is obvious. There are some pesky things that bother us more than things much more serious.

Often we are bothered most by others on the things we struggle with the most ourselves. When those things rear their ugly heads we get hypersensitive not because this behavior or characteristic is worse than everything else but because we have been personally unsuccessful in dealing with it ourselves. We are reminded of our weakness and find disdain for ourselves.

The opposite can also be true. For instance, someone who has dropped over 100 pounds of weight might be bothered by someone they see in public who is morbidly obese. Whereas failure can make us sensitive so can success. It keys in our our awareness that others are failing where we have found success. We are reminded of the other person’s weakness and find disdain for them.

In both instances the real focus is ourselves. The behavior of the other person sheds light on self that creates feelings of displeasure and disdain toward other people. In psychology this is called projection. The next time someone really aggravates you stop and ask yourself why and see what lessons you might learn about yourself. This will help us give more grace to others and understand ourselves better.

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