We will all answer this question with different answer. I am curious how you would answer it. For me it is not being in charge. I don’t get to set the direction. I don’t get to chart the course. Jesus is in charge and he is on the move. I get to follow him wherever he goes and it isn’t always where I want.
We see this in John 21 when Jesus predicts Peter’s death but seems to say John will be around for a while. Jesus doesn’t take his followers by the same route, even if we all end up in the same destination.
That also troubles me at times because it doesn’t always seem equitable. Put more directly, from our frame of reference, it isn’t equitable. God does treat people differently. But he knows us best and like a good father knows his children don’t all need the same things. He treats us as we actually need, not as we think we need. He treats us in a non-comparative way where we keep wanting to ask Peter’s question, “What about him?”
I like being in charge. I like going where I want to go. I like doing what I want to do. But it isn’t always right or best or even best for me. This is why I try (and often fail) to submit to his Lordship.
What do you find most difficult about being a disciple of Jesus?