The Jesus Job Description

When churches post job descriptions…it feels like they want Jesus to come and be there minister without the person actually taking Jesus “all the way.” Here are a few things that would be on a job description that actually describes Jesus:

  • Must be single
  • No kids
  • No more than three years experience. 
  • Hangs out with sinners
  • Doesn’t sit in the office
  • Must be homeless (couch surfer at a minimum)
  • Cries at funerals
  • Throws a good party
  • Must drink wine but not to excess
  • Must work miracles
  • Time off includes
    • 40 day Sabbaticals to the wilderness with no food or lodging budget.
    • Expected to be gone for extended periods to be alone in prayer
    • Other than that, no paid time off
  • Teaches and preaches with authority
  • Preaches no more than in 2-7 minute lessons.
  • Good with people, especially with kids and women.
  • All this to be done without pay or support from the local congregation
  • Poor working relationship with the elders and authorities
  • Teaches challenging and subversive lessons
  • Must have an entourage including but not limited to country fisherman, tax collectors and zealots (is allowed to take them with him when he is invited to speak or stay somewhere)
  • Transition out will require 12 people to take on the work load. Required to train said 12 people prior to departure. Only allowed one to drop from the training regimen.

Church job descriptions tell you a lot about church culture and leadership expectations. The question that needs to be asked is, how well do our values, goals and vision actually line up with Jesus?

3 Responses to The Jesus Job Description

  1. It’s a sobering and challenging comparison to what is expected in our sanitized, Western church settings. Thanks for writing it.

    • Mark says:

      Yes, a modern day minister’s job announcement is almost the exact opposite of that. And we wonder why Christianity is suffering???

  2. Mark says:

    I read once where the Archbishop of New York needed to be Jesus Christ with an MBA.

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