A Hopeful Hankie

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It is not often that I type a post with tears in my eyes but this is one time I do. As some of you know Missy and I had a miscarriage a few months back and I wanted to share a story that recently brought us a lot of joy. When we were pregnant one of the dearest ladies of the congregation wanted so badly to babysit for us and hold our baby once they were born. She was one of the people we were most excited to tell we were pregnant and one of the hardest people to tell we lost the baby because she was battling cancer and it broke our hearts to think she would probably never hold our baby. Last week this dear lady passed away but just before she did Missy wrote a note to her daughter. She included with the note a small embroidered handkerchief we received from a miscarriage support group in memory of our baby. She wrote in the note that if this dear lady passed away maybe she might be the first one to hold our baby.

We are having a memorial for her this afternoon and in preparation for it yesterday her daughter, who Missy wrote the note to, told a story regarding the hankie. She said the day before the hankie arrived in the mail and two days before she passed away she walked into her mother’s room and saw her with the sheets bunched up tight in her hand. She was holding the sheets saying, “The baby’s head is so soft.” and “He smells so good.” She was worried so she asked the nurse if that was okay. The hospice nurse asked if anyone had lost a baby recently. She went back into the room and asked her if the baby was hers. She said, “No, but I think they are going to let me keep him.” We are not really sure how all that works or what she saw but we would like to think that she may just be one of the first people to hold our baby just like we had hoped but not quite how we would have planned it. Both are in a better place together with the Lord.

In the two days between receiving the note and her passing she hung onto that hankie often. The family gave us the hankie back yesterday. We opened up its envelop and there on the hankie was one of the hairs from her beautiful head right there on the hankie. It brings us a lot of hope and joy to know that we have a little piece of her down here and she has a little piece of us up there. Thank you God for doing what you do best and showing us joy and giving us a glimmer of hope even amongst the most difficult of circumstances. God is good.

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