A Hopeful Hankie

It is not often that I type a post with tears in my eyes but this is one time I do. As some of you know Missy and I had a miscarriage a few months back and I wanted to share a story that recently brought us a lot of joy. When we were pregnant one of the dearest ladies of the congregation wanted so badly to babysit for us and hold our baby once they were born. She was one of the people we were most excited to tell we were pregnant and one of the hardest people to tell we lost the baby because she was battling cancer and it broke our hearts to think she would probably never hold our baby. Last week this dear lady passed away but just before she did Missy wrote a note to her daughter. She included with the note a small embroidered handkerchief we received from a miscarriage support group in memory of our baby. She wrote in the note that if this dear lady passed away maybe she might be the first one to hold our baby.

We are having a memorial for her this afternoon and in preparation for it yesterday her daughter, who Missy wrote the note to, told a story regarding the hankie. She said the day before the hankie arrived in the mail and two days before she passed away she walked into her mother’s room and saw her with the sheets bunched up tight in her hand. She was holding the sheets saying, “The baby’s head is so soft.” and “He smells so good.” She was worried so she asked the nurse if that was okay. The hospice nurse asked if anyone had lost a baby recently. She went back into the room and asked her if the baby was hers. She said, “No, but I think they are going to let me keep him.” We are not really sure how all that works or what she saw but we would like to think that she may just be one of the first people to hold our baby just like we had hoped but not quite how we would have planned it. Both are in a better place together with the Lord.

In the two days between receiving the note and her passing she hung onto that hankie often. The family gave us the hankie back yesterday. We opened up its envelop and there on the hankie was one of the hairs from her beautiful head right there on the hankie. It brings us a lot of hope and joy to know that we have a little piece of her down here and she has a little piece of us up there. Thank you God for doing what you do best and showing us joy and giving us a glimmer of hope even amongst the most difficult of circumstances. God is good.

0 Responses to A Hopeful Hankie

  1. DG says:

    This brought tears to my eyes…I wish you and your wife future happiness, and peace and prayers to the departed souls.

  2. Donna says:

    I am crying too. What a wonderful thought of completeness.

  3. Mark says:

    Hey Matt. That’s a really nice post. I know you’re still sad about the baby. I’ve not been in your shoes, though I know many people have, and I feel sympathy for you. Thanks for sharing that.

  4. Philip says:

    It warms my heart to listen to you share you & your wife’s grief and hope with us. You’re such a great person that it helps us all remember that you are human, too, with your own hurts, hopes, & even flaws. Thank you for that.

    The broken-ness we experience in this world can be so heart-breaking. But your words brought to mind the words of a favorite hymn: “O what a foretaste of glory divine!” And in the words from that favorite Mike Cope sermon of our’s on Romans 8 from the 2000 Pepperdine Lectures: “But now we wait. And we’ll do anything but despair.”

  5. TCS says:

    Matt, thanks for sharing that. I’ve learned that there are many such things that I just don’t understand. I like to say I put them on my “don’t understand” shelf. They are too important to dismiss.

    There is a great song called “Glory Baby” by Watermark that was written after their loss of a child.

  6. Justin says:

    Yep, I’m crying too! This is an incredible story, and I hope this helped with some of the sadness you both have had…It’s so comforting to know that your baby boy is in Heaven with our Lord.

  7. Frank says:

    Matt, I’m thankful that you and Missy and others have found some comfort. Thanks for this story.

  8. Gina says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for sharing this and I’m glad I saw it. My husband and I were not blessed with children but I have often hoped and thought I might get to take care of a baby in heaven (one someone on earth didn’t want, etc.). Thank you for confirming to me that this might happen!
    Gina

  9. Lisa says:

    How sweet! I have chills. Thanks for sharing your story. Much love, Lisa

  10. Darin says:

    Thank you for sharing that, that is powerful.

    Thanks.

  11. Rex says:

    Matt,

    I am so sorry to hear this news. I wish things were different. Sorry!

    Rex

  12. […] is the author of the first Christian blog I ever put on my blogroll. This week he wrote a story about a tragic situation in his life, and how God has helped him through it. Be prepared to […]

  13. johndobbs says:

    Matt, like others – through my tears – thank you for sharing this … Our journey takes us through some mighty dark and deep valleys … but God’s mysterious and majestic presence gives us the hope to keep following His path. My love to you and your wife.

  14. Lee Hodges says:

    Tears here to my brother. What a wonderful story.

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